Now that it has been a couple weeks since our wedding day and after processing LOTS of emotions throughout this time, I figured I’d write about it. Writing is healing for me, but I also thought my reflection might help future brides!
Let me start off by saying that I have had the most content week ever! Because we aren’t wedding planning anymore I feel 30 pounds lighter. I am floored by just how much anxiety I was carrying around with me everyday. It’s not that our wedding was super stressful to plan, but it is A LOT no matter how simple you make it. The pressure to communicate with vendors, staying up to date with COVID requirements, making sure family and wedding party had the info, making sure I was put together and dozen of other little things! So, y’all I am feeling good! We finally get to work on some little house projects. I get to actually enjoy Kyle instead of our date nights consisting of wedding meetings. We get to plan our next travel adventures AND most importantly, I can actually focus on my business!!! I haven’t felt this productive regarding my dance studio in forever! I have a renewed energy and motivation to give it everything I’ve got.
But, I didn’t always feel this way. The couple days following our wedding, all I could think about was everything that went “wrong.” I put that in quotes, because looking back now, nothing went wrong. It went exactly as it was supposed too, but I did NOT feel that way two weeks ago. Let’s get into it shall we:
Our day was hot, like hot as hell. A couple weeks before the wedding it looked like it would be about 80 degrees and partly sunny….perfect! Nope, it turned out to be 95 and our outside ceremony was right in the blazing sun, zero shade. I am currently writing this post in beautiful, 75, slightly breezy weather and I can’t help but be a little bitter at stupid Nebraska. Anyways, the heat was a distraction for me. I get lethargic, cranky, and almost sick. I’ve always been this way, so I had to power through that. Unfortunately, I was so uncomfortable and I was worried about my guests being uncomfortable that I do think it took away from the magic a little bit.
On top of that, one of our vendors got stuck in an accident traffic jam, so 45 minutes before the ceremony, a key component was missing. I could feel the tears and panic well up in my chest. I couldn’t get a hold of the vendor at first and I had a mini meltdown where I said a lot of swear words in front of most of the family, love that for me! Right after, we realized that no one had my veil. It was still at the hotel, 15 minutes away! Thank GOD for my sister-in-law’s in-laws. They went back and saved the day. They deserve the world for how much they helped out on our wedding weekend. I am forever grateful. Also, The whole flower/bouquet situation was a bit disorganized. They were placed on and given out a little too last minute. That was my fault, not the vendor! We should’ve made a better plan there!
We’re not done. One more thing…our ceremony speaker overheated. Once again, not the vendor’s fault. The damn heat! We had no music at our ceremony, besides when I walked down the aisle. I don’t know if it was a God thing or what, but the most important part (my walk) is when the music worked, so pretty cool! Honestly, we barely noticed because I was so focused on Kyle and our ceremony was intimate anyway. It worked out just fine and Kyle’s vows were the most romantic, meaningful words I’d ever heard. There was not a dry eye in the room and no matter how hot is was, time stopped for that moment and all I thought about was how much I love him.
From that point on, it was incredible. The party bus was perfection. We got the biggest one they make, so there was plenty of room. We snapped some kick a** pictures and I can’t wait to see them! After the bus, we walked into the reception and when I say that my jaw dropped….the decorating, the flowers, the marquee letters, the drapery, the lighting, the cake table. Our vendors KILLED IT! It was the prettiest wedding reception I had ever seen. I know I’m biased, but it wow’d me and in that moment, nothing else from earlier that day mattered. It was time to PARTY!
After the dinner, amazing speeches, it was time for the most special moment of our whole day. I remember contemplating not even doing this. Kyle and I weren’t sure if we’d have enough time to make it happen, but our ballroom lesson and every single practice after was worth it. Our first dance was a choreographed (by me with help from Omaha Ballroom), slow, waltz and lyrical style inspired routine. It was the best time we had ever performed it and for 3 minutes, I forgot we were even at our reception. Just him and I. Ugh I can’t even explain how incredible it was and we even got a standing ovation! 😉 So proud of Kyle for taking it on, giving it his all, and making me feel like a princess!
Our night ended with a firework exit and a little too much fun at a bar down the street! We had the time of our lives and I can’t thank our families, friends, and vendors enough for making it possible. We had a few hiccups, but nothing that could ruin our special day! Before I end with some tips, I want to say if I sounded dramatic a couple paragraphs above…just know that those things don’t bother me whatsoever anymore. Mostly because, just like life, nothing is perfect. I’m listening to a podcast right now called “Wabi Sabi” by Candice Kumai which means perfectly imperfect. They say this in Japan, I believe. Our wedding was a great parallel to Kyle and I’s relationship. We get over things quickly, we don’t hold grudges, we love each other through it all, and ultimately is works out exactly as it’s supposed. Wabi Sabi!
Hopefully helpful tips. Brides:
- Make sure that you leave plenty of time to get flowers handed out and try to enjoy them a little bit before the busyness starts. It sounds weird, but I feel like I didn’t enjoy the flowers as much as I wanted to. Thank gosh we have pictures/video where I’ll be able to stare at them as much as I want! 🙂
- Have your transportation plan SOLID and delegate! Think about the things you’ll need when & where. Forgetting the veil could’ve been avoided if I would’ve delegated that job out to someone. There was way too many people with way too much of my stuff. We had one mom with this and the other mom with this. It should’ve been more organized on the front end. Having family come from out of town makes this more complicated.
- Spend a moment with your bridesmaids. I see other brides doing a first look with their girls and this isn’t something I requested, but I regret not doing it. Time just started to go by way too quick and having a very large bridal party makes it hard to keep everyone in the same area together especially in hotel rooms that are all strung together. It’s not that I needed a first look with them necessarily. I just wish for 15 minutes we could’ve all spent a little time together in our dresses before the busyness started.
- My fellow empaths or sensitive humans, it is alright if you don’t have super connected conversations with every single one of your guests. Did I feel incredibly guilty because I felt like I ignored people too much and didn’t have 25 minutes for each person? Yes I did! I got over that thought because your guests understand. They are there to witness you and your partner’s love. They are not there for a dinner date with you.
- Things will go wrong. Someone told me this before our wedding and I did listen, but didn’t truly understand until I went through it. It’s okay if it’s not perfect. Roll with it, breathe, and remember what the day is really about.
- You plan your wedding for your guests, not you and your partner. This sounds kind of obvious, but I didn’t really get to see a lot of our day. As a bride & groom you are behind the scenes. I didn’t get to see the decorations before everyone got to the venue. I didn’t get to see the flowers girls walk down the aisle. Things I didn’t realize I’d miss. BUT, that’s why you hire a talented, quality videographer and photographer!
- Hire a talented, quality videographer and photographer!!!! I can’t say it enough. The day goes by way too quick. You don’t get to enjoy half of what you think you’ll enjoy. Your adrenaline is pumping so much that your brain can’t physically comprehend and take everything in. I felt like I was pretty relaxed on our day overall, and we even took a moment to step back and just look around the room. That still wasn’t enough, so spend the money. Hire both! You won’t regret it.
- Lastly, and this may be controversial, but lets stop saying weddings should be the most perfect day of your life. No, the man I am marrying is perfect for me and we will have a lot of perfect and amazing days in this life. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on your special day. It is absolutely going to be highlight and this marks the start of our forever, but married life with Kyle should be the main focus. The wedding day is just a bonus!
Thanks for reading my wedding recap. It took a little work letting go of the shoulda woulda couldas, but I did and I am filled with joy thinking about our wedding day. I am also filled with peace and contentment knowing that it’s over and I get to enjoy this life with my sexy HUSBAND!