I took a break from writing last week, because my new business venture and coaching took priority. Also, because I just wasn’t sure what I wanted to say next. I’ve been pondering ways to discuss my business and the challenges I face owning a dance studio. I say the word “challenges,” because unfortunately that’s the way I have been feeling lately. Simply put, I’m overwhelmingly burnt out and a little sick. I can’t seem to escape the kiddos’ germs.

There are beautiful moments in the madness, of course, and I truly am a “glass is half full” type of person, but I will say I am ready for a break!

I want to be that person or blogger that everyone looks to for the best advice on staying positive, business ownership, and guidance on how to build success. I believe I have great tips for all of those things, but I’m human and I would be lying if I said that every single time I get kicked down by life that I let it go and keep going. I do continue moving forward in regards to getting my work done, but it’s done with loads of caffeine, sometimes discontentment, and a large dose of complaining. Sorry boyfriend!

The “show must go on” attitiude is something I struggle with everyday. I don’t make enough time to center myself. I don’t meditate everyday like I’d like too. I continue working on my business at all hours of the night. Because of this, my sleep schedule is far from normal. Even then still, I make sure my obligations are fulfilled and everyone’s expectations are met, but my biggest question lately is…at what cost emotionally, physically, and mentally?

I find it ironic that I picked a career where there are literally hundreds of people relying on me, but I am as sensitive as they come. Despite the strong exterior, I can not have someone upset with me for more than a day. It would eat me alive. I care so incredibly much and the need to please people causes me more anxiety than I’d like to admit. It’s bittersweet carrying that weight, but I also know that running a business, a successful business, takes compassion and empathy. I’d rather be this way than the alternative. I’m slowly learning how to take care of my sensitive soul and even in the midst of all the stress, I do practice self-care, at least a little bit!

• I spend time by myself. Not often, because Kyle and I live together, but when I get a night where he is away I don’t always fill it with friends or big plans. Instead, the only thing I plan is to be with me. I do laundry, binge watch Hulu, take a bath, bake, drink wine, take on small tasks on the to-do list, or write, like I currently am now. It’s amazing how healing it is for me. After spending all week communcating with kids and parents, the best thing to do for myself is to say nothing for a whole night.
• I work out. I should work out everyday, but the physical demands of teaching dance at night, make that difficult. I do still make it to the gym at least 2-4 times a week. Yes, it’s to make sure I maintain my girlish figure or whatever, but it’s also for my mental well-being. There’s a difference between the exercise I get teaching and dancing than running and lifting. When I’m on the treadmill or stairclimber I will say positive mantras over and over again. Something like, “You are strong. You are content. You will make a difference today.” Variations of those messages to myself while working out are the reason I don’t go insane.
• I call my family. Seems obvious, but I don’t do it nearly enough. I think I just try to avoid the feelings of missing them, so I end up calling a little less often. I came to that realization recently, and I’m now trying to reach out frequently simply because I need it. I still need the healing voice of my grandma, the thought-provoking words from my mom, and the confidence boost from my grandpa.
• I make time for travel. I feel like I have an innate need to travel. This might be overdramatic, but if I don’t hop on an airplane or take a roadtrip at least 2-3 times a year, I don’t think I’d survive. The feeling of experiencing a new place reminds me that there is so much more to do in this life and many more ways to impact people. It’s completing motivating and invigorating. I’m grateful that I had the privilege to travel often as I grew up and I’m blessed that I’m at a point in my life where travel is possible.
• I’m listening to my body. A lot of times that means saying no more often and taking time to rest. I always used to run, run, run and then I’d break or get physically sick. I’m not saying that doesn’t still happen every so often, but at least I now am recognizing when I need to just have a night of netflix and chocolate ice cream. I love being busy. In fact, I thrive off of stress to the most dysfunctional degree. But, by being self-aware and forcing myself to take breaks, I’ve been able to manage that stress effectively throughout the last couple years.

Things I’d love to work on or practice more often:

Further my spirituality and continue to find out what God means to me. Pray. Read. Do yoga daily instead of once a month. Eat less sugar. Reach out for help when I need it. Let go of things I can’t control a little quicker. Stop getting worked up so easily and taking it out on my poor boyfriend. Last, but not least, never sacrifice my mental well-being. It needs to be a priority, in every stage of my life.

Thanks for reading a very personal entry of mine and I hope you find some peace knowing that we all need to get better at taking care of ourselves. You’re not the only one struggling, but hey, if you’re kicking ass at it…send me some of your wisdom!

Much love,

T