Buying a house, living with your significant other is BIG for anyone. It’s probably one of the biggest commitments of your whole life. I can’t believe that I’m at that point where it’s actually happening!
This year, more than any other year, I have realized that yes, I am indeed getting older. I know I’m not “old” by any means. 30 is the new 20 right? As I am creeping towards 26 it just feels like life is flying past me. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I feel like I’ve had this emotional shift and I’m really looking at every moment differently. It’s almost like the “adolescent” lens is fading into the “adult” one. Very hard to pinpoint my feelings right now, but it’s made me reflect a lot lately on who I am becoming and who I used to be? What have I learned? Have I learned and done enough?
It’s crazy to think about where I am versus where I was 5 years ago. Truthfully I didn’t know if my life would ever look like this. When I was 18 I had the toughest year of my life and then the roller coaster continued on throughout the next 5 years. Having a couple failed relationships and then a boyfriend of almost three years that would not discuss our future, kids, or marriage almost paralyzed me into believing that would never happen for me. Then, after I finally broke off from his abuse, I was negative about the whole concept of marriage. I would always say that I would have kids by a sperm donor etc…just super dramatic! But, I was hurt. Having fun with my friends and finding out who I was again was the priority and then not long after, Kyle came along and completely turned my world upside down.
I knew about a week in that he was going to change my life one way or another. We went from being by each others side everyday while I finished senior year of college to trying long distance while I worked in Minneapolis. Being that far away from him was not good enough for me. My life without him in it was miserable. I remember telling him, “I can’t wait until we are in the same place working and living together.” I had to make a change, because for me, life is too damn short to live away from the person you love (unless you literally have too i.e., military).
Moving back to Wayne to start my own dance company was the scariest, most invigorating time in my life and with him by my side I felt invincible. We moved back to Wayne together, but still lived separate for his senior year and then we got our own apartment in April of that year and it was so incredibly exciting. When we first moved in we would tell each other every single time we left the room, or if we moved something here or there. We unnecessarily updated each other on everything probably because we were feeling each other out, seeing how the other one liked to live. Thinking about it makes my giggle. I thought the apartment was exciting….but little did I know we’d be moving into a house a year later!
Now, here we are, after long distance, dating for almost 2 1/2 years and we are first time homeowners. It’s hard to find the words, because I feel like I fell into the best second family in the world. I feel like I fell into this amazing life. I feel undeserving at times, because of all the shit I went through. Throughout the last 2 years, I struggled with the idea that my life “wasn’t supposed to be like this” but now I’m coming to terms with the fact that I worked hard to get to this place. I appreciate the people that helped get me here more than ever and I’m learning that even if your life looked completely different 5 years ago, it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a fresh start or a do-over. I actually wrote something about this topic for a friend’s blog. Coming soon!
So, if you are feeling undeserving, out of sorts, or you’re just in an odd place remember these few things:
- You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Whatever religion or god or universe you believe in…let me tell ya the place you’re in (even if it’s shit) is where you are meant to be right now.
- Snowballing off of that…YOU are in control of your happiness and contentment. You need help? Ask for it. Unhappy with your job? Make a plan, change it up. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results is the definition of insanity.
- Say YES. Tell fear to shove it and say yes to things that maybe you wouldn’t have before. obviously don’t overfill your plate so much that you’re completely swamped, but push yourself a little. No one grows emotionally, spiritually, financially from playing it safe.
- Be vulnerable. Not like “oh, I suck at cleaning the house sometimes.” Be honest with yourself and rumble (my favorite Brene Brown word) with your emotions. Don’t stuff them down. Feel them and feel them hard. After doing so, have the tough conversations you may need to have. Confrontation doesn’t have to be negative people. It’s necessary in business and relationships.
- Lastly, be kind to yourself. I am not perfect. I swear too much. I struggle with laziness. Just because you didn’t get your 250-word checklist done doesn’t mean you suck. Throw the expectations away and as my grandma used to say, “it’ll be there for you to do tomorrow.”
Speaking of tomorrow, our new floors will be finished, we will get our couch picked up next week and we finally will be sleeping in our new master bedroom. We peaked at the first coat of finish today and you guys, the floor is INCREDIBLE! Changed the whole look of the house and we are pumped! Pictures coming soon. Thanks for following our journey and hope my words can provide some of you with a little hope or the motivation you needed today.
We are less than a week away from closing!! Yay! I can’t wait to live with my best friend. I remember being 21 and day-dreaming about decorating a cute, little home in the city. Everything I pictured is what we are about to have and I feel overwhelmingly grateful, especially for Kyle’s parents who helped us achieve this dream.
This last month, we have been searching high and low for the best furniture and home decor finds. Our first big purchase was a large charcoal sectional. We were nervous about the size, but realized we want our living room to be inviting, comfortable, with a touch of modern.
Speaking of modern, we love greys and whites. That’s the trend right now and we are totally loving it. Our kitchen is all white with a grey subway tile backdrop and concrete counter tops. Yes, you heard that right…CONCRETE counter tops. Probably my favorite feature of the house. Kyle and I decided to paint pretty much every single wall in the house either a shade of grey or white. In our living room we wanted to play with the contrast of our dark charcoal couch and white features like these tables from Rush Market!
FYI you must have an account with Rush Market and I am not sure about shipping or ordering online. We went to the actual location in West Omaha. The prices are insane for the quality. we will definitely be going back!
To bring our whole living room together, we chose a lighter gray patterned rug from Ruggable. If you have not heard of this company before…Oh. My. Gosh. you need to check it out. They are machine-washable rugs and they are about the same price, maybe a little more, than your average rugs. The style selection is huge, so you can definitely find one that fits your style. Basically, there’s a big pad you lay down first that sticks to your floor and then the “rug” part lines up with it to create the thick, rug look. BUT, you can remove the “rug” layer and throw it in the wash! We have a yellow lab and eventually, kids (we hope) so it will be great for stains, spills, dog hair, etc.
The other amazing thing with Ruggable, is that you get a discount for your first order! Use Welcome10 for 10%!
Along with finding the dream house, we bought it from the dream couple! They are leaving a hefty amount of stuff behind for us. To name a few; a ping-pong table, washer/dryer, dining room table, mini outdoor chimney, and best of all…art! The husband is an artist and glass blower. So we will have hand-crafted art pieces that we are using for decorating inspiration. This one is our favorite and it’s the center of our living room. We had this large, gorgeous piece in mind when purchasing all our living room furniture.
Lamps were a hot topic. We weren’t impressed with the in-store selection at all. Kyle isn’t too keen on online shopping for home stuff, but I convinced him to check out Wayfair with me. Finally, we had a couple we agreed upon and we think the sleek black metal will pair well the white tables and the painting.
We thought about having all white tables, but thought that would be a bit much. We also love wood accents. We have a round wood tray that we are going to set on the white table and I’m sure they’ll be more rustic accents throughout the room as well. Because of that we got this little side table that will sit next to a statement chair. We’re in the process of finding a chair with color or patterns that tie into our painting. This end table is also from Wayfair.
Lastly, one of my favorites pieces we’ve found thus far is our bedroom bench. I highly suggest searching your local antique stores for unique home decor. We talked about having a bench at the end of our bed, but it wasn’t a prioity, but then….we stopped at this antique store right by Kyle’s parents house and we knew we had to have it!
There’s a little sneak peek into some of our finds. Most of these were inexpensive or on sale. I’m not going to lie, it’s been nice that Kyle had some time off before starting his job and I’ve been flexible since summer classes don’t start until July at my studio. We are lucky that we have been able to really search. Way more time-consuming that I expected, but worth it!
Can’t wait to show everyone the finished look!
Lately, the self-doubt has been eating me alive. I mean, when isn’t it really? In a world where we see everyone else’s successes around us all the time, it’s hard to not compare yourself…DAILY! But, my self-doubt is more centered specifically on my newish business venture with Beautycounter. When it comes to owning, instructing, and choreographing at my studio, I feel confident most of the time. After having almost two years under my belt, I’m feeling comfortable and fully equipped as I continue learning and growing.
Beautycounter has been different. At my studio, I can see results every day in the way my dancers’ grow, in the way my parents communicate with me, and I get a huge sense of accomplishment when watching my students succeed on stage at competitions and recital. With Beautycounter it can be very hit or miss. I will post about a certain product and I will get a ton of feedback as well as some sales. On the other hand, I can run a week-long event that I thought I promoted effectively and achieve no sales at all.
As I watched all the managing directors learning and being rewarded for their hard work at the L.E.A.D conference in Phoenix, AZ I couldn’t help but feel left out and a sense of self-doubt. Am I doing enough to be able to get their next year? Am I effectively spreading my knowledge of safer beauty? Why do people feel the need to judge “businesses like this?” Why am I letting those people, who know nothing about the Beautycounter business, paralyze my progress?
Some judgemental people are actually really close to me and it hurts, honestly. It hurts that they can’t be supportive and they don’t prioritize safer options, but I have to be okay with that. Everyone’s journey and priorities are different and that’s why being human is so fun. Everyone’s got something to teach and something to learn. I find that I also create fictional people in my head. I think that people are going to judge me for trying my best to use safer options. I feel like they think I’m a dramatic or I need to “relax” or “everything causes cancer, so who cares.” These “what-ifs” flow through my mind way too often.
Caring about people is such a dichotomy. On one hand, I care about the way people perceive me, because I never want to offend or push anyone too far. On the other hand, the reason I started my Beautycounter adventure was BECAUSE I care so deeply for people and I want them all to be free from harmful chemicals, so they may live long and feel amazing! I want everyone to be their BEST SELVES!
The toughest thing for me has been people not understanding that Beautycounter isn’t like the other hundreds of multi-level marketing companies out there. In fact, we are not considered multi-level marketing at all. We’re a direct retail company, meaning we offer a product through multiple channels including a network of independent consultants, through our e-commerce web sites and through strategic partnerships. We are structured like any other company. There are teams with team leaders that help coach and mentor us. I am currently a mentor to one person who happens to be my beautiful mother and she can absolutely surpass me if she outperforms me.
The thing is, my job isn’t to convince every single person that Beautycounter is an amazing company. My job is to be a safer beauty advocate and this role, for me, is bigger than just my Beautycounter business. It’s not just about selling our safe products. It’s about creating change and regulations in an industry that hasn’t changed anything in over 80 years! It’s starting the process of regulations, so that my children wont have to worry about toxic chemicals. Why can we go into a store right now and buy basic beauty products that are filled with fragrance that cause irritation and allergies? Fragrance isn’t regulated by the FDA. It could be composed of 3,000+ stock chemical ingredients! Why can we buy shampoo, body wash, and foundation that’s filled with parabens that can alter hormone mechanisms in our body? Why can we buy lipsticks, diapers, and creams that are packed with BHA and BHT? These are likely carcinogens and hormone disruptors and could cause liver damage! AHH! And that’s not all!
Why is it that the U.S. bans only 11 chemicals when places like Europe are banning thousands? 11. Really? We should be questioning this and we should be passionate about this.
All-in-all my passion and the people who support me will be my focus, and the rest I will simply not have time for. I will grow this through this journey with a full heart and by always staying true to myself.
P.S. Thank YOU so much to those who supported my business throughout the 15% off sale! Wow, it was amazing how many of you decided to start or continue your safer beauty journey. Love that you are prioritizing your health!
We love our lab. So much. Kyle and I decided about a year ago that we wanted a puppy. Luckily, we found an amazing family not too far away that breeds pure bread hunting labs. If you ever need a recommendation, definitely ask me for more info. You could tell when we picked our puppy up how much they love their labs and how well they care for them. We had to pick between two beautiful, rambunctious male pups, and we knew right away that Ace was the one.
Ace became the center of our lives (our new baby). Most of you already know this, because he makes a regular appearance on my Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook. We like to show him off, just a little bit.
I never wanted a big dog. I was a little dog person or so I thought, but when your dog is your own, it doesn’t matter what size he/she is, you love them like a member of the family. If you don’t, then you shouldn’t have a dog, just sayin’.
Now that Ace is 9 months old, he is almost full grown. He’s a smaller lab, but currently 65 lbs. Kyle works with Ace every single day. I take him for a walk and work on training at least 2-4 times a week, so some days he’s working with us twice.
This weekend I was completely defeated. As he was dragging me around the baseball field while I was trying to watch Kyle play, I thought to myself, “none of this training is working. He looks like he’s the worst dog in the world. This is horrible.” If I’m being honest, I was almost in tears at one point.
I could feel the judging eyes staring at me and the laughter and granted, it was hilarious at times, but it looked like we had never worked with this dog a day in his life. He lost most of his training and I know I am being way to hard on him. He’s still a puppy and people who have labs/dogs, know this. People who have never experienced lab/dog ownership truly don’t understand.
My point in writing this piece is that just like mothers with screaming children at the store, DO NOT judge an owner and their dog. Ace is a completely different dog at home. He doesn’t chew up shoes, he doesn’t dig in the garbage can. He doesn’t constantly bark. He doesn’t knock you down when you walk into our home. He is loving, cuddly, and patient. Best lab I’ve ever been around and of course I’m biased, but it kills me to see that other people don’t see that side of him.
I now have so much more compassion for other dogs who get excited around people or who uncontrollably lick and smell you. They might be trained every day, like Ace, but they’re still learning and every dog is different. Not all people are dog people and I get that, but it never hurts to have a little more patience.
Anyways, I found myself really distraught and angry, especially at Ace after the baseball game this weekend and after reflecting on that feeling a little bit, I came to the realization that it all comes down to feeling judged by others. Feeling like an inadequate dog owner. Truthfully, why do I care? Kyle and I are doing the best we can and most days, we even go above and beyond for our doggie, so who cares what others think or say. It’s not their life and it’s not their dog.
Moving forward I will be patient with Ace and his growing process and I hope those around him can be too!
Much love from a happy dog owner,
If you scroll my Instagram feed, chances are any cute jumper, dress, or shirt you’ve seen me wearing is from IKT Boutique! I can’t get enough. I’ve also noticed that so many of you DM me inquiring about my outfits, so I thought I’d take a little time to brag about my favorite boutique. Not only have they provided me with unique, adorable clothing. I’ve also been modeling for IKT the last year and a half.
The experience has helped boost my confidence, helped me learn more about fashion, and running a business. It has introduced me to some beautiful women and my closets (notice it’s plural) are now jam-packed, whoops! Sometimes I hide the shopping bags from Kyle, but the clothes are just too darn cute to pass up!
Below, are two sneak peeks! They’ll be available in-store and online very soon.
Both the romper and jumper would be perfect for a summer wedding, vacation, or date night.
I love that, no matter your age, IKT has something for you! They have everything from special occasion dresses to basic, everyday T’s and everything in between.
IKT denim is also a main staple in my closet. They have a wide selection, including wide flares, distressed or destroyed, boyfriend fit, white, black, light, and dark. All these different styles come in a variety of sizes to fit every shape.
IKT never lacks in the color department either. Stripes and florals are really in this Spring, and they stocked up on both, so everyone can be on trend this season!
Both outfits below will be available in-store and online soon!
I drool over their accessories. Every hat I own is from IKT. They have an assortment of purses AND the shoes….oh my gosh! IKT has sandals, wedges, booties, heels, mules, flats, and even tennies. They vary from season-to-season, but right now they have a handful of casual or classy heels that would be fabulous for wedding and patio season. IKT carries jewelery galore along with men and women’s Quay Sunglasses!
You’ll also be seeing a lot of leopard this season, and IKT has got you covered. They have leopard clothing, leopard sandals that I couldn’t pass up, and even a leopard hat!
Speaking of wedding season…It is amongst us and I’ve already got 5+ on my schedule. Last year, I wore IKT to every wedding I attended and I plan on sporting more cute looks this year as well. IKT carries classic dresses, fun rompers, and flirty jumpsuits that will make women of all shapes and sizes feel stunning. Depending on the brand, they carry sizes small-plus.
IKT is more than just a clothing store. They truly care about their costumers and the community of Wayne. The owner has such a kind heart and you can feel those good vibes as soon as you step through the door!
Be sure to stop in this weekend and use code TARYN15 online to get 15% off your order!