See Ya Later Self-Doubt

Mental Health

Lately, the self-doubt has been eating me alive. I mean, when isn’t it really? In a world where we see everyone else’s successes around us all the time, it’s hard to not compare yourself…DAILY! But, my self-doubt is more centered specifically on my newish business venture with Beautycounter. When it comes to owning, instructing, and choreographing at my studio, I feel confident most of the time. After having almost two years under my belt, I’m feeling comfortable and fully equipped as I continue learning and growing.

Beautycounter has been different. At my studio, I can see results every day in the way my dancers’ grow, in the way my parents communicate with me, and I get a huge sense of accomplishment when watching my students succeed on stage at competitions and recital. With Beautycounter it can be very hit or miss. I will post about a certain product and I will get a ton of feedback as well as some sales. On the other hand, I can run a week-long event that I thought I promoted effectively and achieve no sales at all.

As I watched all the managing directors learning and being rewarded for their hard work at the L.E.A.D conference in Phoenix, AZ I couldn’t help but feel left out and a sense of self-doubt. Am I doing enough to be able to get their next year? Am I effectively spreading my knowledge of safer beauty? Why do people feel the need to judge “businesses like this?” Why am I letting those people, who know nothing about the Beautycounter business, paralyze my progress?

Some judgemental people are actually really close to me and it hurts, honestly. It hurts that they can’t be supportive and they don’t prioritize safer options, but I have to be okay with that. Everyone’s journey and priorities are different and that’s why being human is so fun. Everyone’s got something to teach and something to learn. I find that I also create fictional people in my head. I think that people are going to judge me for trying my best to use safer options. I feel like they think I’m a dramatic or I need to “relax” or “everything causes cancer, so who cares.” These “what-ifs” flow through my mind way too often.

Caring about people is such a dichotomy. On one hand, I care about the way people perceive me, because I never want to offend or push anyone too far. On the other hand, the reason I started my Beautycounter adventure was BECAUSE I care so deeply for people and I want them all to be free from harmful chemicals, so they may live long and feel amazing! I want everyone to be their BEST SELVES!

The toughest thing for me has been people not understanding that Beautycounter isn’t like the other hundreds of multi-level marketing companies out there. In fact, we are not considered multi-level marketing at all. We’re a direct retail company, meaning we offer a product through multiple channels including a network of independent consultants, through our e-commerce web sites and through strategic partnerships. We are structured like any other company. There are teams with team leaders that help coach and mentor us. I am currently a mentor to one person who happens to be my beautiful mother and she can absolutely surpass me if she outperforms me.

The thing is, my job isn’t to convince every single person that Beautycounter is an amazing company. My job is to be a safer beauty advocate and this role, for me, is bigger than just my Beautycounter business. It’s not just about selling our safe products. It’s about creating change and regulations in an industry that hasn’t changed anything in over 80 years! It’s starting the process of regulations, so that my children wont have to worry about toxic chemicals. Why can we go into a store right now and buy basic beauty products that are filled with fragrance that cause irritation and allergies? Fragrance isn’t regulated by the FDA. It could be composed of 3,000+ stock chemical ingredients! Why can we buy shampoo, body wash, and foundation that’s filled with parabens that can alter hormone mechanisms in our body? Why can we buy lipsticks, diapers, and creams that are packed with BHA and BHT? These are likely carcinogens and hormone disruptors and could cause liver damage! AHH! And that’s not all!

Why is it that the U.S. bans only 11 chemicals when places like Europe are banning thousands? 11. Really? We should be questioning this and we should be passionate about this. 

All-in-all my passion and the people who support me will be my focus, and the rest I will simply not have time for. I will grow this through this journey with a full heart and by always staying true to myself.

Much Love,


P.S. Thank YOU so much to those who supported my business throughout the 15% off sale! Wow, it was amazing how many of you decided to start or continue your safer beauty journey. Love that you are prioritizing your health!


2 thoughts on “See Ya Later Self-Doubt

  1. You will always have people that will doubt, question and make assumptions based on a breif encounter or a moment that you weren’t being the best version of yourself. I think that people have to had something huge happen in their life to accept doing things differently. They have to have arrived at place were they are willing to accept themselves in the most exposed, vulnerable, most raw form of themselves. It isn’t until a person, either themselves or someone the love very much, need to make a change that people seem to open to taking the time to research and truely listen to the details of something that could bring change to the situation that opened them up to begin with. You can not hold yourself accountable for the feeling people form about you based on them not being in a place to be open and accepting of what and how your life has come to you feeling the need for change in your life. In simple terms….they are not where you are. You just have to be you and if when they come to the crossroad of your encounter and their journey has brought them to you, those are the folks that will educated themselves to make a difference in someone elses life. And this is why not everyone will always be in your life forever, they have to there for someone elses crossroad needs. You have to accept that a higher being is moving you where your need to be and putting people at your life’s many intersection, You do what is good for your heart and soul.:-)


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